What A Couple of Weeks

Two weeks ago tomorrow my wife went into the hospital for back surgery. The surgery went well, and she is recovering well. She had a herniated disc in her lower back (L4-L5 for those interested in such things) and had been in excruciating pain from it. Surgery was the only option.

And I am EXHAUSTED from the work I've done in caring for her since the surgery. She was in the hospital until that Friday afternoon of the surgery week. It was four days and three nights in the hospital, but they weren't easy days for me. Mainly, I was at her bedside seeing that she got what she needed. She was in so much pain that they gave her dilaudid (sp?) shots, which made her loopy and tired. So she slept a lot, but it was fitful sleep, and she seemed to take much comfort from me being there and getting her something to drink whenever she awoke briefly.

So I was already tired when I brought her home. As I said, the recovery has been slow, though I see positive signs every day. Still, I've had the cooking, cleaning, laundry, dogs, and her to take care of. I've been constantly "on call" for whatever she needed. I haven't minded any of it, but I have been exhausted by it and unable to do anything pro-active unless it was laundry, feeding the dogs, or feeding us.

Now, after two weeks, I'm back at work with not only a much greater appreciation for what it takes to keep the household running but also for what full-time caregivers go through. It's hard work. It's both physically and mentally demanding, and it never does any good to get angry with the patient. They can't help how they feel. And for most of this time, I was alone doing this work, with no one to talk to and no one to give me a break from it. And it just wore me out.

I'm glad to be back at work, where the pace is slower, and I don't feel the constant demands on my time. Just writing this short entry is nice. I didn't have the energy to do it at home the past two weeks.

There are more things I should be writing about and more things I want to write about. Perhaps there will be more entries today and in the days to come. It's unfortunately obvious that they don't have much to keep me busy here at the moment. (That, too, is a worry, but it's one I'll put off for now.)